That Ain't What It Takes To Love Me

In 1974, Jim Stafford released a song called “Spiders and Snakes” which quickly topped the pop charts in several countries. I was just seven years old but I loved that song! And now, the chorus of that little ditty has become my battle cry in my "adopted" village, where we are cozily nestled between the beach and the far, far edge of the jungle, and directly in the path of all kinds of critters. The song goes something like this: “I don’t like spiders and snakes, and that ain’t what it takes to love me, like I wanna be loved by you.” 

Okay, yes, it’s true, I’m a city girl. And yet, I willingly chose to move to a tropical country harboring a slightly irrational fear of creepy-crawlers. I’m scared of them all--spiders, snakes, bees, cockroaches, lizards, beach crabs, scorpions, moths, toads and caterpillars. Yes, toads and caterpillars. Laugh if you want, but there are some scary-ass poisonous toads and caterpillars! Look it up! No matter how many legs, two, four, or six or eight--with wings or without—if they crawl or fly, or bite and sting, or slither on the ground, I’m scared of them. Especially the skittery, scampery prehistoric-looking ones. And prior to our move to Placencia, I used to gleefully maim and murder any kind of “pest” that dared to show its exoskeleton in my presence. My mantra was “kill ALL creepy-crawlers!” 

But unbelievably, at least for this city girl, I am learning how to coexist in their world, here between the sea and the "back-a-bush." I’ve learned to welcome the darling little geckos inside the house, because honestly, they’re cute! They bark like tiny little dogs! And they eat bugs, roaches, and spiders. Who wouldn’t want a friend like that in the house? Our first resident gecko we named Philbert, and he was adorable. Until Kitti ate him. And then puked him up on the bed in the middle of the night. Sadly, we’ve had to stop naming our geckos. It was just too sad.

Truthfully, I don’t really mind the iguanas, lizards, wish willys, and land crabs, although they do still startle me sometimes. But the biggest surprise is that I’ve even learned to simply take a wide berth around the tarantulas, and not run screaming bloody murder for the hills. And even though I am still quite terrified of them,  I let the hairy monsters hang around (outside of course), because I’ve been told tarantulas eat scorpions. And I despise scorpions most of all.  When it comes to scorpions, sorry, but my old rule kicks back in and all bets are off.  ALL scorpions must die.  

I moved to Placencia knowing that it is the creepy-crawler’s domain. This land belonged to them first, and I am just a guest. I knew I had to learn to coexist, just as people here have done for generations. I’m trying hard to adapt, and believe it or not, I've learned a lot about bugs and other critters since our move.  We even try to "relocate" the ones we are able to with the help of our friend, Elvin, who's not afraid at all. And as long as they stay outside, I will let them live in peace--unless it’s a scorpion. But I make no apologies, any creepy crawler that steps across my threshold and into my home should be forewarned--it is likely taking its last step on this earth. Especially the scorpions!

(Don’t know the song “Spiders and Snakes?”  You can see it here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TRJUAaQ2WU