Voices In My Head?

Do you ever find yourself continuously carrying on conversations, but only in your head? I can’t be the only one who walks around with a running dialogue in my head all day long, can I?  I don’t remember doing it before I had my brain surgery, but it doesn’t seem to me like I did.  Maybe I was always so busy that I just didn’t take the time to listen to myself.  Or, maybe it was that I never got “still” enough – if any of you meditate, you know how hard it is to be "still."  Or maybe I just don’t remember, I will certainly admit my memory is not the best anymore.  Perhaps I just notice it more now because I tend to spend the majority of my days alone (I’m not complaining-I don’t mind being by myself!)

I admit maybe this seems an odd thing to do--having nonverbal interactions in your head all day long with people who aren’t actually there.  But I promise you I have not gone off my meds.  Stick with me here and confess, I know some of you do must do this too, don't you?  I am pretty sure that at least one or two of the other “wannabe writers” are raising their hands……. aren’t you?

I wonder who am I conversing with here?

What I do know, for sure as Oprah would say, is that it’s become more apparent to me since recovering from my brain aneurysm, and even more noticeable since our move to Belize.  It seems half of my day is spent having conversations--but only IN MY HEAD--with myself, with the hubby, with friends and family, and sometimes even with random people.  The talks with myself are often about what I should do, what I could do, and sometimes what I didn’t do.  Other times, these chats are with people who I just know would enjoy a hearing about a particular event or activity I’m involved with.  Sometimes they are with a friend that I believe would appreciate hearing about something new I’ve discovered or seen.

Trouble comes in small packages

But even more regularly, I have conversations in my head with my “besties.”  We talk about the crazy episodes that can only happen here in Belize, my successes and failures learning to cook, and how
much I wish they were here to share those experiences with us.  Most recently, I told those “besties” all about how our little doxie-dog, Bunni (who’s always getting into something), got stuck under the dock trying to fight with a pissed-off Momma Possum.  And how we had to dig Bunni out by hand, while trying not to get bit ourselves.  How we finally freed her by digging out sand and prying up a slimy, rotting board.  In the pouring rain!  In THE DARK for god’s sake!  My besties were very amused (in my head, of course).

I often wonder if people can somehow sense these “mind conversations” or the energy I’m creating while I’m having them.  I believe maybe they can.  It’s odd, but many times when I’ve been carrying on a conversation in my head with someone, I end up receiving a call, a text, a Facebook message, an email, or a “FaceTime” from them the same day!!!  It’s kind of weird I know.  But I have to admit I love having these chats with everyone.  I just wish sometimes they were in person instead of in my head!

I can’t be the only one who does this.  Or am I?