Have Trouble Letting Go? Not Me….Or Do I?

Recently, I have been seeing a lot of articles, blogs, and Facebook posts related to the topic of “letting go.” One of my writer friends just wrote a blog about letting go of a pair of snow skis that had become symbolic to her. Another wrote about breaking free of the dissatisfaction in his life and letting go of others’ expectations of him. And yet another friend is ending a long relationship and leaving her comfortable life behind. In addition, several of my newer friends have recently changed their plans and returned to the States, or moved to other exotic countries, and let go of their life in Belize. And every article or inspirational story I've been sent in the last week has been about letting go.

It seems everywhere I turn, someone is letting go of something—their past, their plans, their marriage, their job, their living situation, their dreams, their fears, their erroneous beliefs, their loved ones, and even objects that represent something else. Every day, somewhere, someone I know is letting go of something they don’t need, or something that isn’t serving them well, and starting anew.

Now I should tell you that I’m one of those complete weirdos who believes in signs and subtle messages sent from “The Universe.” I believe these messages can come through many sources such as physical objects, animals or nature, or even through what some call “ghosts” or apparitions. Sometimes, a sign can even be a number sequence, or just a strong intuition. But I believe that when The Universe is trying to get your attention, it will continue to boldly slap you in the face until you take notice of the message.

So, ok, I finally got it. The Universe was desperately trying to tell me that I, too, needed to let go of something. But I was racking my brain trying to figure out WHAT, because it seems to me I’ve already let go of so many people and so many things, and even so many hopes and dreams, in the last few decades. Many times, often at someone else’s choosing, I’ve let go of everything I’d known up until that point. I’ve changed schools, changed careers, changed husbands, changed towns, and even changed countries. And each time I’ve left more and more behind. Truthfully, I have restarted my life over from scratch so many times that it hurts just to think about it.

It would seem that I'm a pro at letting go! So what, then, did The Universe think I still need to let go of? Surely it couldn’t be possessions or material things. It was only a little less than two years ago that I let go of all of my beloved friends, family, and most of the familiar things in my life in order to move a few thousand miles away to Belize in search of a simpler and healthier life. And now The Universe is saying I have to let go AGAIN?? Let go of what, for God’s sake?!!

I thought about it from many different angles and finally got frustrated. To distract myself, I started skimming through some online articles I’d saved for a rainy day. Anything to get my mind off what the The Universe wanted me to give up this time. Spontaneously, I clicked on a link, and the headline of an article caught my eye, “The Real Reason Why You Can’t Write.” Intrigued, I read the first few paragraphs, and then--WHAM. The Universe smacked me again, right upside the head. But this time I finally got it.  

The sentence in bold print simply read, “Your limiting beliefs about you and your writing are what’s holding you back.” The article went on to outline how a writer's fears can stop you dead in your tracks, and how negativity and limiting beliefs hold writers back. Then it explained how to overcome them, and most importantly, how to let them go. For me, it was a lightbulb moment.

After reading the article, I can now see that I’ve continued to be sporadic about blogging, only writing and posting in fits and starts, because I still have some massive fears and lingering negative beliefs about my talent as a writer.  Even though I’ve had a few really nice responses on my blog, and received wonderful encouragement from some readers, I’m still holding back what I really want to write. My fear of how I might be perceived by my readers still weighs heavily on my shoulders each time I sit down to write.

Yes, I admit it. I STILL have that big, dark monster inside my head that shouts, “You’re not good enough! Nobody cares what you have to say! In the writing world, you are nothing! As a writer, you are just an insignificant, rambling fool in a world of geniuses!”

Now that all these signs of from The Universe have come together, it seems it's really quite simple. I need to let go of my fears. All of them. And I need to let go of them NOW.

Apparently, my silly but very real fears are the only thing still holding me back, and I need to stop talking about them and REALLY let go of them. It has become obvious that the Universe is once again telling me to release my fears about my skills as a writer, and let go of my worry about how I might be perceived. The Universe is instructing me to slay the beast of self-doubt, and write what I want to write, or just write for the love of writing.

And so I will do just that. Starting tomorrow, my fear-monster-cutting knife and I are going on a fear-monster-slaying quest, and we're going to track down that ugly bastard. It's going to be quite an adventure but I'm going to do it, even though I'm terrified. And even if I'm only doing it because The Universe says I must.




If you'd like to read the article I'm talking about, here’s the link: http://menwithpens.ca/why-you-cant-write/

If you'd like to read my writer friend's blog: http://denisejackson.blogspot.com/2014/03/letting-go-of-stuff.html